Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Divorce & Separation: To End it ~ Grieve it!

          Kelly Clarkson wrote in her song, “Because of you, I am afraid…”  I am certain that many women and men leave a relationship with that sentiment.
          Yes, relationships can end amicably, but rarely do. Often many years and growing issues accumulate before couples end their union. There can be violence, abuse, growing differences or a general “falling out of love” that ends a relationship.
          Family and friends make alignments, loyalties divide and the precious souls of what once was a blessed union become pawns in the game of power and control. The hurt and betrayal quickly give way to anger and resentment and an attitude of “good riddance” becomes the mantra that stands in the way of finding forgiveness and truly letting go of the relationship.
          It is not uncommon for one or both individuals to enter into a new relationship soon after ending the previous one. They make the false assumption that if they “just get on with life” then the work is done. Nothing could be further from the truth. 
         Although the decision to end a relationship may be right, a person must grieve any loss associated with the breakup. In doing so, they can truly move on with life and successfully enter into a new relationship. Otherwise, they are dragging in old baggage, and that never works.

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