You don’t forget someone when they die. How could you? As time passes, you may forget smaller details, but the person and what they meant to you in life will not drift away. It’s been twenty years since my husband died and I remember even the smallest detail… like how he used to wear his watch with the face sitting on the side of his wrist so that when he glanced down while driving he didn’t have to turn his hand to see the time.
Living in the present is to be mindfully aware of life today – not being stuck in the past and only living in the memories or projecting yourself into the future and worrying about what could happen next. It’s okay to treasure the memories of the past and to reminisce, but to move forward in life does require a conscious effort to live life fully and with intention. Experiences, including grief and loss, are what make up the fabric of our lives… but they don’t define us.
Memories are precious… they certainly have brought me joy and comfort over the years. To allow myself to languish in the past would mean that I miss the beauty of living today. It’s important to accept that we don’t get to choose when someone will die, how they will die, how old they will be when they die, or where we are at on the journey with them when they die. We only get to choose to survive and to live our life until we die.
Allowing yourself to live fully does not diminish your loved one’s memory. Live every minute of every day with joy and intention – it is possibly the best way to pay tribute to them!
Photo Credit: Simon Howdenhttp://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=404
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