Smiling in the Rain

A broken heart is certain to garner a lot of tears. Our energy is depleted; sleeping, eating and activity routines are disrupted. We feel out of sorts and often could care less about getting out of bed. Combine this with dreary, dismal weather and it becomes almost impossible to move one foot in front of the other.

I don’t have a lot of difficulty during the winter months when the sky is grey and light is lower; however, I do know that in general when the sun comes out and skies are blue, I am more energized and can’t wait to take on the day. Having said that, when a loved one has died, it didn’t matter what time of year it was, I still experienced sadness, sorrow and a host of other grief symptoms. But if the sun was shining it was easier to take my tears and sit outside in the fresh air and allow myself to be enveloped by the natural beauty around me.

I am not talking specifically about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) here, although individuals living with this disorder may resonate with what I have to say. SAD is a cause for depression generally in the winter months; however, some people may also experience it during the summer months. The amount of light, genetics, hormones and body temperature are all factors that contribute to this disorder. Not unlike other types of depression, SAD may be effectively treated with antidepressants, exercise and therapy. If you think you have SAD, it is important to discuss this with your doctor.

I am writing about a more general decrease in energy because of weather conditions and feelings associated with grief being compounded by those conditions. It’s easy to say that all we need to do is to wait it out and the weather will change; however, it may feel endless for someone living through it. Nonetheless, if a person can push him or herself to do something in spite of the dismal skies, they may be able to elevate their mood. Here are some suggestions:

·         Watch funny movies or television shows

·         Go for a walk on the beach, in a park, or around the block

·         Listen to music – make a conscious choice if music affects you the way it does me. I can be rendered to tears in no time if the song conjures up memories of a loved one who has passed. So if I need to elevate my mood, I purposefully choose upbeat, dancing-type music.

·         Take up painting – be playful, not perfect

·         Visit a shelter, the elderly or speak with the homeless. They all have stories too and sometimes listening to what others are going through helps us to find strength to endure our own situation.

·         Invite friends over for coffee or a light meal – share some laughs and/or have a heart to heart chat to get your feelings out.

·         Play with a child or children – no matter the plight of our world, children stay in the moment and will help you to laugh, be imaginative, and just plain silly. Don’t think it will work? Try it!

·         Smile – at first, it may feel forced but keep doing it and eventually it will become second nature