Previously, I have written about celebrity deaths and why the death of someone we have never met can have such impact on us. This blog is to offer the opposite perspective of how this horrific incident may affect the Sugarland band members, Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush as well as those who work with them. They likely did not know those who died, but they will be impacted personally by this sorrow.
Soon after the tragedy occurred, Sugarland sent out a Twitter message letting their fans know that they were fine and that they were praying for the victims and their families. The intent of their message was to convey that they were not injured when the wind swept through and collapsed the stage only minutes before the concert was to begin. While they are unharmed physically, this caring duo may have a long road ahead of them to truly integrate the reality of this tragedy.
Nettles and Bush are fortunate to have a large, loving community in country music. Fellow singers, songwriters and musicians can easily validate the emotional roller coaster they could find themselves on as the days pass. Country legend, Reba McEntire lost her entire band and tour manager when their plane crashed in March 1991. Barbara Mandrell nearly lost her life in a horrific car crash in September 1984. In 1963, family, friends and fellow musicians experienced an incredible sorrow when country vocalist, Patsy Cline died in a plane crash. While the experience of McEntire, Mandrell and Cline are vastly different they share a theme… an unforeseen tragedy broke the hearts of many.
The greatest country songs ever written were about heartbreak. Many more have been written about mending a broken heart. All were born from the writer’s pain of losing someone or something precious in their life. I have no doubt that the craft of writing music will be a tremendous catharsis for Sugarland as they integrate this tragedy into their life.
Fans and colleagues need to be patient with the duo and encourage them to slowly work through the feelings they may be having about this tragedy AND/OR the feelings that may arise as the days pass. Long after the newspapers stop reporting about this event, the band members may still be consumed with thoughts of “Why our concert?” “Why that night?” “Why those people?” Family, friends, colleagues and fans need to lovingly listen and allow them to explore these questions without attempting to judge, persuade or dissuade them from feeling what they feel. You don’t have to answer the questions they ask. They don’t expect you to. Whenever someone asks these questions, they are searching for meaning and attempting to make sense out of what has happened. They will find their own answers… the listener merely facilitates the exploration.
I don’t know Nettles or Bush, but I do know they are human and these are normal responses that anyone could experience. My intent is not to presume they will experience any particular emotion, but rather to enlighten fans and those who work closely with them that they may experience a wide range of feelings and emotions resulting from this tragedy. Moreover, the duo may be caught off guard with the depth of emotions that arise.
My hope is that Nettles and Bush find comfort among family and friends and come to understand what I and millions of others have learned through tragedy: We don’t get to choose who will die, when they will die, how old they will be when they die, how they will die, or where we will be at with them in their journey when they die. We only get to choose to survive and to live our lives until the moment we die… to live it fully, deeply, lovingly and with joy.
I send my prayers and blessings to Sugarland, to those who were injured and to all the families and friends of the victims who died in this tragedy. May you be comforted by love, patience and understanding in the days ahead.
On June 29, 2005 I was injured while setting up for a Santana concert in St. Paul MN. That injury ended my almost 20 year career as a stagehand. I always wondered if anyone would come forward with information as to why it happened. I always wondered if anyone had footage of what happened. I still wonder, does Santana even know or care that my life as I knew it ended that day. I'll probably never know the answer to these questions.Yet, I still wonder if there are answered out there waiting to be found. Most people don't know how dangerous our jobs can be until something awful happens. Typically, accidents involving those of us behind the scenes never makes the news. God bless you all and me.
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