A tragedy of enormous proportions occurred in Oslo when Norwegian suspect (32-year-old Anders Behring Breivik) bombed government buildings and went on a shooting rampage at a youth camp on an island nearby. Ninety-two innocent lives have been taken in this senseless and vicious attack. Throughout the world, people are shocked and sending thoughts of love and prayer to the victims’ families.
This horrific calamity will undoubtedly trigger ‘grief responses’ for those who were closely connected to the 911 disaster. Triggers commonly occur on or near a birthday or the anniversary of a loved one’s death. Triggers also arise from sights, smells, and sounds. Movies, poetry, songs, and the sight of your loved one’s favourite meal may also trigger feelings of loss. These are common responses and people can develop a plan to help them cope with the sudden feelings of sadness that take hold.
Individuals who were in 911 or lost a loved one in 911 may experience overwhelming and unexpected feelings of loss and sadness as a result of the Oslo tragedy. This will undoubtedly catch them off-guard and could result in them reliving the trauma. I want to assure those feeling this way that you are not doing anything wrong… this is a ‘normal’ response for what you have been through and it’s important for you to express your feelings and to reach out for support.
The following tips could help when a grief trigger occurs:
- Create a plan to help you cope with feelings of sadness or loneliness when your loved one’s birthday or anniversary of their death arrives.
- When a global tragedy takes places and it triggers grief (i.e. Oslo event triggers grief of 911) go into ‘emotional self-defense’ mode. Minimize, if not avoid all together, television, newspapers and radio so that you are not exposed to the incessant reporting of the event. Understand that you are not being disrespectful to those affected by the event-of-the-day, but rather taking an important and necessary step to not re-traumatize yourself.
- Ensure that you eat balanced meals, get at least 7 hours a night of rest, drink plenty of water and get some light exercise.
- Surround yourself with people who have like-minded experiences and will understand that you are feeling physiological and/or emotional responses to what has taken place.
- Reach out for professional support if needed. It’s okay to see a counsellor to discuss your feelings. It’s not wrong to have feelings because ten years have passed since 911. Time means nothing. Remember: It isn’t the time that has passed that will heal us it’s what we DO in the time that has passed that will heal us. Your feelings are real and important. Again, you don’t need to explain the need for support to anyone. The counsellor will understand and provide a safe-nurturing environment for you to express your feelings of sorrow.
- Allow yourself to laugh. Do what you need to do to ‘lighten up’. Watch a comedy, tell jokes, do something fun. Again, you are not disrespecting those affected by today’s events, but you are taking care of your own needs and you do not have to explain this to anyone.
Photo Credit: Reuters/Holm Morten
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