Panic

Panic is another potential response that individuals may experience following loss.

When panic sets in you may feel overwhelmed and fearful that something else will happen. On one hand, you understand that the experience you are having is probably the worst possible thing you could imagine to happen. On the other not-so-logical hand, you are hypersensitive and running like a deer caught in the headlights just waiting for the other shoe to fall and something else to happen.

I experienced this following my husband’s death, which was completely unexpected. It was the worst thing I could imagine to happen to me at 34 years old. That was the logical side. On the not-so-logical side, I became obsessed that something worse was going to happen… like my children dying. I was okay during the day, but at night when the girls were in bed and I was pacing the floor, panic would set in. Almost always, I would give in to my fear and tiptoe into their rooms and gently lift an eyelid or put my finger under their nose to feel their breath so I would know they were still alive. Inevitably one of them would wake up and say, “Mom… we’re fine. Go back to bed.” We laugh about it today, but at the time it was CRAZY making stuff and it was a real.

I’m not a big fan of the ‘pill cocktail’ when individuals are struggling with a loss. I don’t believe that numbing someone’s feelings is going to heal them any faster than allowing them to work through the process in their own time. In fact, I think it prolongs it. I am not a medical doctor so I certainly don’t want to imply that everyone should avoid medication after a loss. If you feel that you need ‘treatment’ than see your physician. What I do see and hear often is that well-meaning friends or family members offer up unused prescriptions to help the bereaved cope. This is dangerous and not helpful.

Other interventions that may be of help to alleviate panic include:

· STOP! Just stop what you are doing, sit down, close your eyes and breathe. You may start crying… that’s okay… sometimes tears are the only way we can release the stress.

· Keep a journal and write about your feeling at that moment. Look for patterns or triggers that may set off the fear.

· Consider meditation before you reach for medication. Meditation is a wonderful stress reducer and can help to rejuvenate you when sleep is lacking.

· Call a trusted supporter and have them sit with you or speak with you over the telephone until the feeling dissipates.

· When the panic subsides remind yourself that you are doing the best you can in light of the experience you are having and that the feeling is temporary.


Photo Credit: Maggie Smith:
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