Sadness

Feeling sad is a normal emotional response following loss. For example, when a loved one dies it’s normal to feel lost, empty and emotionally flat for quite a while. Grief attacks us on all levels: emotionally, physically, spiritually and socially. It’s overwhelming, exhausting, frightening, and unpredictable. A real problem is that others tend to want to rush people through the process and want them be happy and fun to be around again. You can’t rush anyone and you can’t make them get over what has happened. They need to work through it in their own way and in their own time.

Sadness is not the same as being clinically depressed. Meaningful family and friends often confuse the two and insist that if the sadness does not dissipate within a few days then the person is depressed and they need counselling and/or medication. Moreover, they expect the person to just snap out of it. You can’t snap out of it any more than you can just get over it.

Feelings of sadness can linger for weeks or months. A rule of thumb to go by when wondering if the person needs interventions is if they are threatening or doing harm to themselves or others or destroying property. Doing harm to themselves does not only apply to physically harming themselves. If the person is not able to get out of bed and they are sleeping the days away and/or they are not eating this too is harmful, albeit unintentional. Seeking professional help is beneficial in these situations. The bereaved, family and friends should not feel they can address the situation on their own. There is no shame in seeing a professional… nobody was meant to do this on their own.

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