StarTribune reports on Families Postponing Funerals

Postponing grief is not that uncommon. It’s not healthy, in my opinion, but it’s not uncommon. In fact, the StarTribune recently ran an online article about families postponing their loved one’s funeral or memorial service for several reasons. Sometimes it is because they are busy (e.g. vacation planned) or because they want to tie it into a special date for their loved one (i.e. birthday). And sometimes they want to put it off until they feel they can handle it.

Death does not happen at an opportune time – for anyone. Reconciling loss is not easy – it’s hard work. Postponing the grieving process will not make it any easier. I can speak from experience... if you hold your sorrow at bay, when you do unleash the pain, it is like a dam breaking! If the person who suffered the loss is postponing their grief, they are being self-destructive. If others are attempting to postpone a person from grieving they are jeopardizing the person’s well-being.  The unintended consequence is that the grief journey may never end.

Funerals and services serve great purpose in bringing together a support network for the bereaved and allows them a safe, nurturing environment to express their sorrow. By all means, plan a celebration of the person’s life at what would have been their next birthday. Just don’t confuse yourself thinking that waiting several months down the road to acknowledge the loss will be any easier, because I guarantee it won’t.

To read the online article, visit: http://www.startribune.com/local/117558463.html

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