At first, it is difficult to believe that what you think you heard is, in fact, the truth. Life moves in slow motion and yet the news swirls in your head at light speed. You are catapulted into a world of fear, shock and even denial. While trying to figure out what the dying person may want, you begin to struggle with the reality that you have to say goodbye.
After learning of a loved one’s diagnosis, it’s normal that we want to protect them by not talking about the inevitable. Sometimes, they feel the same way ~ they don’t want to upset anyone so they don’t talk about the foreseeable either. By avoiding the conversation, families unintentionally block meaningful dialogue. Yes, it will be sad. Yes, there will be tears. The truth is… you will be sad and have tears whether you talk about death or not. My advice is: get out of your head and stay in your heart. There are many end-of-life decisions to be made and it all starts with meaningful conversation.
My upcoming book Extraordinary Mourning: Healing for a Broken Heart will have a chapter dedicated to the topic of Anticipatory Grief. It’s a complex but important topic. For more information on End-of-life Care or Anticipatory Grief, visit the following websites:
- Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association http://www.chpca.net
- American Hospice Foundation www.americanhospice.org
- Center to Advance Palliative Care www.getpalliativecare.org
- Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services www.medicare.gov
- Department of Veterans Affairs www.va.gov
- National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization www.nhpco.org
Was there a time when you were told a loved one would die? What was the most difficult part of the experience for you?
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