S.H.A.R.E.

When I have the opportunity to present to nursing students, healthcare professionals or at conferences, I use the acronym S.H.A.R.E. to explain how to meet the needs of people working through loss.

S – Support (engage in short & long-term supports)

People rally around a family as soon as tragedy takes hold.  Unfortunately, they will need support long after the funeral takes place or the person with a catastrophic injury returns home. This makes it extremely important that others see they have short-term supports after the initial event takes place and long-term supports to help them down the road.

H – Hope (thread or sense that some good will return in their life)

People need hope to do the work of grieving. This requires a delicate touch. Don’t rush in with statements like, “You are young, you can get married again.” But rather, give them hope by letting them know that you will be there for them for however long it takes – they won’t be alone. Remember this… if what you say isn’t hopeful, I guarantee it won’t be helpful!

A – Acknowledge (life prior to the event…at the moment…in the future)

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, describes this as saying “hello, goodbye, hello.” It means that for people to let go of the life they had and to move forward, they must have the opportunity to acknowledge where they have been, where they are, and what the future may hold.

R – Reflection (spiritual, memories, planning for the future)

Reflecting on life is a normal part of the process. It is a way for individuals to fully acknowledge their losses and to make meaning out of the new life they have. There is no timeframe for this… it can be a slow process. Remember... “grieving is a process – not an event.”

E – Engage In Life (reconnect to loved ones, friends, & community)

As an individual moves through the grief journey, and if they do the work of mourning, they will engage in life. You will see and hear them connecting with family and friends and making plans for the future. They will never forget the person they lost or the life that they shared. If they have the opportunity to do the work, they integrate the loss into their life and move forward.