Each of us holds a memory when our trust in someone was shattered. It could have happened as a child when your best friend blurted out a sacred secret held between you. It could have happened when a parent or friend committed to be somewhere and/or do something and then didn’t. It could have happened when a business partner ripped you off. It could have happened when a love (partner, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend) betrayed the relationship by having an affair. Perhaps your experience was one of the ultimate trust-breakers… when an adult or authority figure used their power to harm another.
As you can tell from the examples, the loss of trust would be shattering for the person who is betrayed. At first, it may feel impossible for them to trust anyone again. And that may be true for a long, long time, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Some marriages can even survive a breach of trust after a spouse or partner has an affair. The trust isn’t regained overnight – it may take an incredible amount of time for the betrayed to feel a sense of trust again and it may never be at the level it was previously. The same would be true for other breaches – not necessarily impossible, but definitely not easy to overcome.
There is a plethora of information on the Internet with suggestions on how to regain trust in a relationship. While they are helpful and noteworthy, this is one of those situations where I strongly encourage people to seek the assistance of a professional. A few counselling sessions can be especially helpful when attempting to unravel the tangled web of emotions cast when a breach of trust in an intimate relationship occurs.
Breaches of trust involving sexual and physical abuse are extremely complex and require the guidance of a skilled therapist.
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