Becoming a Crusader

It’s not uncommon for people to want to do something to give back to society or to make a difference in the lives of others when they have been through a significant loss.  However, timing is very important with this. If the person has not adequately mourned their loss and worked through the grief journey then taking on the role of crusader and a significant cause is really about avoiding the pain they are living with.

I remember after surviving multiple deaths in our family when I began thinking that I wanted to do something to help others. It became quite an obsession for me.  That’s all I wanted to do was think of ways in which I could make a difference. Fortunately, none of those ideas panned out in the way I planned. I say “fortunately” because the delay forced me to work through the process and resolve my grief first.

It was nearly five years after my husband’s death before my first book was published. On one hand, it seemed to take ‘forever’ for me to get anything written and published. On the other hand, once it came out, it really felt like the time that had passed was merely a blip.

Twenty years later, I am working every day to make the difference in the lives of those who have suffered a loss through death and/or catastrophic injury. I am passionate about what I do and why I do it. I have worked through my feelings of grief and I know that what I do honours those who were an important part of my life and have now passed to the other side. My work today is truly about helping others on their journey and no longer about me looking for meaningful ways to escape the pain.

As I have mentioned so many times before, you cannot escape grief. If you desire to help others and make a difference in this world using the experience you have, then commit to doing the work of healing yourself first. If you don’t, the grips of grief will continue to snatch you at every opportunity and interfere with your ability to be present to the suffering of others.  Remember the saying… “Physician heal thyself” and trust that when the timing is right, you will have your opportunity to shine!

Photo Credit:

renjith krishnan

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=721