Over the years I have met people who have attended counselling for years. Some are still working through some deep issues. For others, it has become a lifestyle. Then there are those who would benefit tremendously from working with a counsellor and have either never considered seeing one or simply refuse.
Here are my thoughts on counselling:
· You don’t have to sign up to be on the leather couch for twenty years. It depends on the issues that you are working through. For example, a person dealing with the aftermath of physical or sexual abuse may require extensive support. Others may need to see a counsellor for only a few sessions and then have what they need to do some work on their own.
· Sometimes it is helpful to talk with someone who is not immersed in the pain with you. Attempting to share your feelings with family members and/or friends may be frustrating for both parties because of a lack of understanding and because that person is dealing with their own feelings about the situation. Remember ... following a loss, a family may experience the ‘family pressure cooker’ – everyone has a high need to be understood but little capacity to understand (Dr. Alan Wolfelt).
· Counselling sessions provide you with a place to explore your feelings and thoughts in a safe, nurturing environment free of judgement.
· The feedback you receive in counselling provides you with other options to explore or it may give you a new perspective on the situation. I often explain it to people in this way: I sit in the same chair to have my morning coffee. From that angle, everything looks the same. But if I make myself sit in another chair, the view of the room is different. The view through the window is different. And I see things that I may not have seen from the other chair – like cobwebs or smudges of fingerprints on the glass! A new perspective on the situation can help to unravel the tangled web we often feel stuck in after loss.
· It’s important to have a connection with your counsellor. Interview a potential counsellor before committing to seeing them on a regular basis. If you don’t feel that connection then it will be difficult to do the work that you need to do. When I am approached by a new client, I always suggest we meet first (at no charge) and get to know one another better and determine if it is a good fit for both of us.
Photo Credit: Ambro
<p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1499">Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>
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