It’s very common for people to burst into tears when they get the news of a loved one’s death. It’s also common for some to go into shock and to not cry right away. Sometimes one person will never shed a tear over the loss while another in the family is inconsolable.
We have come a long way over the years in accepting people’s tears. It is still more acceptable to see children and women cry… not so much for men. But we are getting better at accepting that men may experience some of the same responses a woman does. And it is okay if they cry.
When a person has suffered a significant loss, sometimes crying is all they can do. I remember when my brother died and when my husband died… I thought there were days that I cried so hard, I would turn myself inside out! But during those times, I could not possibly put into words the depths of my sorrow. Crying provided an outlet for me. It released stress, tension and gave me a way to express my sadness and sorrow. In those moments (or hours and sometimes days) crying was very healing.
When a person shares their tears with you, understand that they may not be able to put into words how they are feeling. Refrain from saying things like, “What’s wrong?” “Why are you crying?” “Don’t cry.” “It will be okay.” “Crying won’t do any good.” These are not helpful. Instead just be there for them. Gently place a hand on their arm or shoulder to ground them and to convey to them that you are there and they are safe.
Here is something that I know for certain… no one has ever died from crying… but people have died from a broken heart.
This is so true... I made up a quote and I was looking for a picture of a person crying and I pulled up this up.... Here's what I wrote ... Tears aren't always a sign of weakness, it just means that they have a heart. It's ok to cry because Jesus wept too.
ReplyDeleteBy: Judy Lyn Hood