Disorganization after Loss

The roller coaster ride after loss is like none other! People experience a myriad of responses which includes feeling an overwhelming sense of loss, being confused and just unable to pull your day together. The bereaved often wonder if they are ‘going crazy!’ It’s an incredibly confusing, exhausting, and frustrating time.

It’s common to not be able to think straight or to not be able to complete tasks that you previously could have completed with your eyes closed. In these early days, the memory of the person who died consumes one's thoughts. They may be so predominate in your thoughts that it is not unusual to experience a shift in what you may think you see or hear. It’s not unusual to spot someone in a crowd who may look like the person who died and in your mind there is a fleeting thought that it is them. Having dreams about the person who died is also very common and leaves a person feeling overwhelmed the next day as they attempt to make sense of what has happened and/or what the dream meant.

This is an exhausting time because sleep disturbances and interruptions in daily routines are common. People may not be eating properly and combined with sleep issues, they go through the day feeling very fatigued and just unwell.

The following are simple adjustments that will help:

• Understand that disorganization is a common response. You are not going crazy because you can’t remember why you walked into a room or because you catch yourself putting some belongings in silly places (i.e. your shoes in the oven)! It happens and it is normal.
• Find someone who understands what you are going through and who will listen to your story over and over. Talking about what you are feeling and experiencing is important.
• Take several rest breaks during the day to compensate for not getting a good solid night’s sleep.
• Take in small meals and drink plenty of water.
• Accept every hug that comes your way... you deserve it!

Photo Credit: Vegadsl’s portfolio:
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=792