Dreams

It is not unusual to have vivid dreams of your loved one after they die. The dreams may be different each time, or you may experience one that repeats itself over and over. In our dream state, the work of mourning can be facilitated as often the dreams may be a way to help reconcile and acknowledge the reality of your loved one’s death.

Dreams may also be a way of confronting our feelings at the very deepest level. For example, I had a reoccurring dream for over a year after my husband died. It was always the same thing happening… he would phone me and tell me that our marriage was over. In the dream, I would plead with him to stay… beg for him to tell me why… how could it be so easy to walk away from me and our children? Eventually, I was confronted with my feelings and realized that the sense of rejection and abandonment that I felt was so overwhelming that I felt powerless. When I was able to understand the emotions and feelings that I had, then I was able to work on them. It wasn’t easy but I finally had a place to start.

Sometimes people feel their loved one has communicated with them in the dream.  The dreams can be so real that when you awaken you may wonder if the conversation really did take place. These are very mystical type of experiences and not everyone will understand if they have not personally experienced something like it.

A person may have reoccurring nightmares, especially after a traumatic, violent death. This too is ‘normal’ albeit very frightening. It is wise for the person experiencing these kinds of dreams to speak with a person who can provide support, guidance and understanding.

Remember that nobody can interpret your dream better than you can. Dreams are fascinating and I have learned over the years that they may not mean the obvious. It is worthwhile to record your dreams and spend time reflecting on them to determine a pattern or underlying message.

To record your dreams try the following:

·         Keep pen and paper or a journal by your bed

·         Record the date

·         When you wake up, record whatever it is that you remember… colours, conversations, people, a feeling, or anything else that comes to mind

·         Don’t over analyze… just write it down

·         If you feel you want to write about the dream more fully do so, or put it aside until you are able to explore it more without any interruptions

·         If you don’t think that you dream or you can’t possibly remember, try the steps above and you will see that over time you can remember more and more dreams

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