Not every counsellor will be the right counsellor for you, in the same way that not every doctor or lawyer would suit you. There has to be a rapport and a sense of being comfortable with a counsellor for the relationship to be effective. Moreover, you need to feel that you can trust the counsellor and feel understood by him or her.
I think it is important to interview your counsellor. Ask questions and get a sense of what their counselling skills are, their beliefs around the grief process and how they approach individual cases. If you are not sure, but think you would like to try a session or two with the counsellor than I would declare that up front. Express any concerns that you may have and in doing so, the counsellor will likely take the opportunity to address those concerns so you can make an informed decision.
Here are some things to ask yourself so you can determine if the counsellor you have connected with will be or is a good fit:
- Do you feel understood by the counsellor?
- Did the counsellor help you to understand the grief process and what benefit counselling may have for you?
- Does he or she seem interested in what you are saying and do they give you their full attention?
- Does he or she have experience in bereavement counselling?
- Does he or she approach you with a teach me attitude, or is it a I know what’s right for you attitude?
- Are the sessions meaningful for you?
- Does the counsellor share their personal experiences appropriately?
- Does the counsellor listen more than they speak?
- Does he or she help you to explore issues that you would rather avoid?
- Does the information your counsellor provide give you a sense of hope?
- Is the counsellor willing to help you explore other support resources (i.e. groups) if appropriate?
Photo Credit: Ambro
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