What is a developmental loss? The ‘empty nest syndrome’ is a classic example of a developmental loss. In my presentations, I often joke about raising five teenagers and not experiencing any sadness when the last one left home. While it is true, I felt that I did my best and I was ready to move on with the things that I wanted to accomplish, I did feel sadness when each of them moved out. And although my level of sadness may not be as intense as someone else’s, it doesn’t mean that I am doing it wrong and they are doing right, or vice versa. It means that our experiences are different.
If you are grieving the change in your family because children have moved on, consider the following:
- Your feelings are normal
- Embrace the time you have now to rekindle feelings with your partner, or to travel, or to learn something new, or to do something that you have always wanted to do
- Be excited for your child and while it is fine to let them know that you miss them, be sure to not make them feel guilty for leaving
- Know that this is what parents strive to do – work our way out of a job!
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