I can see now that from those experiences, where the force of life was suddenly ripped away, I came to make other decisions where I pushed my way into relationships, and felt that I needed to make them work, hold on to them all in the spirit of 'life is too short and keeping a connection with a loved one is always worth the fight'. Recently I have had to face the reality of those choices. I accept now that it was my dream and not necessarily the dream of others. You can't make people love you, like you, or care about you. You can't be perfect and you won't always measure up to the expectation of others. All I can say is... "forgive me for not being the person you thought I should be and I am sorry you can't see me for who I am."
I am not a competative person by any means. But when it comes to love and relationships, I have never wanted to let go, give up, walk away or admit defeat. I am learning that today. I will always love the ones I love. I will always be here for them, but as I am... me, the same person I always was. That may be good enough for some and may not for others. I am learning to accept that the way it is... is the way it is.
Letting go is very painful for me. But the time has come for me to learn that letting go doesn't mean that I can't love people and care about them from a distance... so I will. I am learning that it is not my responsibility to 'fix' things between others, it is their choice and I need to step aside so they can make the decision to heal their relationships or not... so I will. Stepping aside to let others do their work doesn't mean they will take up the challenge, nor does it mean my decision will be respected, but I don't have to take on their anger, dissapointment or blame... so I won't. It does mean that I learn to accept people for who they are and as I let go, allow them to be free too... so I will.
In letting go of a situation or relationship, it's important to do it with an open heart and a preparedness. Those you release and let go may appreciate it and rejoice that you finally got it. But don't be surprised if they resist by insulting, blaming, and lashing out at you directly or through others. If you are really letting go... then don't respond, just breath and let go.
The following poem has helped me a great deal in coming to terms with these changes.
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
and
To let go and to let God, is to find peace !Remember: The time to love is short ------ author unknown
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