I obtained my Certificate in Death & Grief Studies with Dr. Alan Wolfelt of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colorado. He is a brilliant man with incredible insight, passion and compassion.
He has worked and taught extensively to those who are grieving. He also works with professionals and has a great way to break down the challenges they may face. While there are many, this week I have chosen three types of people who could present as challenges when part of a group. See if you they remind you of anyone that you may have encountered.
Bob the Blamer
~Dr. Alan Wolfelt
Bob is the participant who projects that other group members (or, other people in general) are the ones who cause his problems. This self-defeating thought pattern has often been a part of his coping mechanisms for some time. Bob often projects an accompanying sense that no one has ever understood him and no one ever will. This self-crippling stance wears thin very quickly with members who are trying to honestly look at themselves and sort out new directions in their lives.
Appropriate ways to intervene: Compassionately attempt to help Bob become more self-responsible and eliminate the tendency to blame. Well-timed, tentative comments like, “Bob, sometimes I’m struck by how often you find fault with others. I’m wondering what would happen for you if you look inside yourself at times instead of outside?” A supportive confrontation like this has the potential of getting Bob more connected to himself and starts to help make positive changes.
On Wednesday, you will meet Challenger #2!
No comments:
Post a Comment